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Disclaimer : this post contains full of personal story. And maybe can make you boring or hate it, I suggest you take a deep breath while reading, because also my English not good enough, it can make your head dizzy.
What’s different between Ramadan last year and today? Many differences, of course. Started from a condition where I lived, the atmosphere, the weather and also myself. Ramadan today, I surrounded by people who always bring me and invite me to do the good things. Although it can not escape from something that called “BAPER”. Yet those things make me more enjoy the process of learning, accepting and believing that Allah has been determining it, so I have to accept it with my heart.
Hijra for something Good
Moved from last places where I lived before. And yes, this year the first time I fascinating in my new place. With new neighbourhood and it make me feel so happy. Why not? My new house nearly with shock market (Pasar Kaget) while during Ramadan, every afternoon lots of people selling ‘Takjil’ for break fascinating. No need to spend more times to reach this place, just a few step from my house.
Besides, this place has lots of good people, I make a good friendship with another neighbour here because they always invite me to go to the assembly of religious study. And also invite me to take a part in the social event.
Learn to make a totality
Followed the opening of Pursuit of Happiness’s movie, Will Smit said, “And this part in my life I called…” Same as the opening, I want to call this part of my life as “goodness” from Allah.
And also I learn…
1. I learn how to totality to believe of provision from Allah, good or bad. Why? Because as a human, sometimes I look something good is bad and bad is good. Right, each of it has good things and also has a purpose.
2. I learn not desperate mercy from Allah. This is the thing usually forgotten, when human at its height or lowest in their life. Hopeless grace from Allah contain the meaning that as a human we have to believe 100% that Allah will forgive our sins, Allah bestow grace for us and give blessing our life.
3. I learn to identify and choose the best friend for life. Through story from Khulafaur Rasyidin, it invites me to open my eyes. Am I through the right step so far to get a best friend for my life? Or I careless is it danger my aqidah or not. It reminds me when Abu Bakar Al Shiddiq releases the collateral from his best friend as a protection for Abu Bakar and Rasulullah. Just because Abu Bakar want their friendship free from a specific condition and also Abu Bakar only want to hope a protection from Allah.
4. I learn to accept “Baper” and analyse it into diverse things to think. Yet, how if I feel broken heart, disappointed and accept the bully. Surely “Baper” will hold me close, this is the time I learn how to analyse “Baper” into different rational reason and in step with a purpose of life. And always trying to do the best and positive thinking.
5. I learn it is ok when people take an advantage of me because it signs that I still have a benefit. But still have to fit with shari’a of Islam, it protected me from people who want to make a fool of me.
While writing this, I feel really want to cry, because I’m going to miss Ramadan. Always hope next year I still can join fascinating in Ramadan. Maybe for people I just overexpress, I don’t know how to reveal it anymore. Because of Allah, I open my eyes and learn to keep standing still while the sadness holds me and learn to face my fear.
Allahu akbar. So, readers, do you has some stories during Ramadan this year? Or you want to share a story about great Ramadan in your life. Feel free to share it on the comment box, and also feel free to use English or Indonesian. Thank you.